Warning: This is a bit of a rant
and grumpiness.
You’re forewarned!
Have you ever wondered at how
people react to your creative output? I have.
Having started performing at age
11, my experience has run the gamut. “You’ll learn how to play some year.” “It
must be discouraging when you realize you’ve lost your edge.” I often wonder if
people are just repeating what they’ve heard or curious or just plain mean. It
doesn’t encourage young people to take up a creative pursuit. I was banking on
being replaced by younger performers. I’m growing tired. But I can only control what I do.
Perhaps a lot of my situation is
my choice NOT to color my hair. I don’t mind looking over 60. I don’t create to
give people an escape from reality. Just to spread some beauty in the world and
help people to feal in a cold, rough life.
I find people still judge and
assume. That’s part of creating. You have to accept that will part of the
experience of creating and putting your work out there. When I play music, I
have to accept that it won’t touch people the way it touches me. When I tat
lace, I have to accept that it won’t bring smiles and joy to people. That’s
what a creative life means. I can only control what I do.
I find more aspects of my life
besides music and lace are being influenced by my perceived age. Where I live,
what my house looks like, what I choose to attend and how I talk about my creative
life. Maybe that means I’m involved more with people now. I’m no longer
practicing and tatting in solitude. I’m out and about more. I’m teaching more.
I’m in more situations where my creative output is for sale.
It’s interesting. I guess it is my
age.
Or is it the age I live in?