(This is not a happy, uplifting post nor one filled with
pretty lace)
I find myself weary. I am a social person. That doesn’t mean
I’m good at social graces, but that I find great joy in being around people.
That makes my role as musician and teacher something I relish and gladly
pursue.
But, we are not out of this yet. Pandemic life is morphing
into endemic life. Groups I support and depend upon are beginning to gather
more and more. Concerts (in person) are offered for listening pleasure and
learning. Workshops (in person) are offered for learning and networking.
Classes (in person) are offered more often. This will mean I’ll be sitting in
groups with people I’m not normally in contact with, breathing air and touching
surfaces I cannot be certain will not make me sick, and balancing a schedule
for optimum involvement without overly taxing my stamina.
Yesterday, I set up my camping chair and enjoyed a couple of
hours of fun music. There were professionals playing/singing along with
students and amateurs. If you asked some of the teachers, they will tell you
the amateurs can often play/sing better than they can. Everyone seemed to enjoy
the music.
As I walked up the hill to our house, I found myself weary.
I have very little excuse for physical tiredness as I haven’t been exercising
overly much, nor have I filled my days with physical labor. I am just weary of
trying to live safely. Trying to figure out how to reset and respond to news
that affects my plans. I know this is part of human history. I am just weary.
I hope we can continue to gather safely. I hope to continue
to learn together. I hope to live.
Yes, it is wearing to have to constantly think about keeping yourself safe and healthy. It's a shame that we have to make such decisions, choose between safety and enjoyment. I can only hope I"m right to say, "This too shall pass".
ReplyDeleteI too remind myself "this too shall pass" just about every time I look at a calendar.
DeleteThe last time I visited my pulmonologist, even after 10 minutes my breathing did not return to 'normal'. The tech waited for over 3-4 minutes for the oxymeter reading to stabilize. Then he asked me to remove the mask and wow, the reading shot up by 2 points and I felt good.
ReplyDeleteSo while the mask is vital for me, it is also a huge hindrance.
I certainly hope you will be able to reset in the not too distant future. 💝
Yes,it is tough to sing wearing a mask. I use a cloth mask which doesn't protect me completely. But, I also have a loud voice and can project. So, I take minimal risk to sing.
DeleteOh, yes, I can identify with the way you feel. Trying to stay safe and healthy is wearing, at best. Worse yet, you cannot really trust people to self-quarantine when they don't feel all that 'sick' - they go out and run errands, go to the same musical performances you/we do....and don't say a word about the fact that they've been told to quarantine themselves for a certain length of time, but haven't because they're not 'all that sick.'
ReplyDeleteI am fervently hoping that this will pass - the sooner, the better. At least we have ways to get together online. That helps. :)
StephanieW
It does help we have ways to keep in touch. And there are ways to hear performances also.
DeleteStay safe.